THROUGH
MOUNTAIN MISTS
Early Settlers of
Their
Descendants...Their Stories...Their Achievements
Lifting the
Mists of History on Their Way of Life
By: Ethelene Dyer Jones
Continuing
on author Loyal Jones’s list of Appalachian Values as given in his book
by the
same title (Jesse
Stuart Foundation, 1994),
we focus on neighborliness (also known as hospitality), familism
(obligation to
family) and personalism (relating well to others).
In
recent decades, dwellers in Appalachia have adopted the customs of
people in
other areas, which, unfortunately, has somewhat curtailed our normal
tendencies
toward neighborliness and hospitality.
Distrust and suspicion, and the fear of harm from strangers have
erected
walls of suspicion so that we are querulous of helping people. The time
was,
when persons passed through as strangers in the vicinity, with hotels
and
motels almost non-existent in the hill country, people “took in” the
travelers
and treated them to the best they had available in food and lodging. Sometimes, for a stranger, a bed in the
hayloft on stacks of newly-threshed hay was welcomed, and the persons
who
offered such rest for the weary were thanked volubly. That was back in
the day
of trust and the desire to share what a family had with those who might
happen
by. Now, if we have people in our homes
for meals, or to be overnight guests, we extend a special invitation in
advance. This, of course, still shows
the spirit of neighborliness and hospitality, but it somewhat takes
away from
the old mountain custom of “keeping the welcome mat” out.
Back
in the nineteenth centurythere came through Choestoe community
periodically a
person who at one time had lived in the valley but who had migrated
west to
Texas. His name was Phillip Humphries
(b. ca. 1841, a son ofKizziahSouther Humphries and John Humphries). He had served in the Confederate Army during
the Civil War, and many said his shock from battle left him somewhat
deranged and
with a desire to wander the country. He
would come preaching on the end times.
People knew of his family connections to the Souther families of
the
valley. They showed hospitality and
neighborliness, listened to Phillip and gave him food and lodging, warm
water
for bathing, and clean clothes to wear.
Then his restless nature caused him to move on.
Someone, taking compassion on him, finally
found him a permanent home in a veterans’ home in North Carolina.
Familism,
or obligation to family, is a strong trait of Appalachian people.
The general
idea is that you don’t talk badly
about “my” people, nor do you treat them with unkindness.
Loyal Jones states: “Family loyalty
runs deep and wide and may
extend to grandparents, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, cousins and
even
in-laws. Family members gather when
there is sickness, death or a disaster” (Appalachian Values, p.
75). An example of this loyalty to
family shows in remorse that occurs if there has been a rift in a
family
relationship and apologies and reconciliations have not been made
before the
death of one or the other at odds with each other.
Another example of deep familism is the
obligation felt by mountain people to “take care of one’s own.” Until recent decades, assisted living and
nursing homes were not a consideration, since children cared for aging
parents
or other relatives not as closely kin as parents. And
if a young mother or father died and the
widow or widower needed help with young children in the family,
relatives were
quick to take in the children and love and rear them as their own. Union County did have a “Poor House” back in
the nineteenth century where, as a last resort, persons were housed and
cared
for if relatives could not, due to their own circumstances, take care
of the
indigent. Or maybe the residents of the
Poor House had no kin who could take them in.
But the general principle has been for generations in the
mountains to
“take care of our own.” Family is a
strong entity. Even divorce is a more
recent blight in Appalachian society because of the strong sense of
family.
Personalism
is a bit harder to define. Loyal Jones
sees it as “relating well to other persons…going to great lengths to
keep from
offending others…not alienating others” (Appalachian Values, p.
81). However, don’t think that
mountaineers are
easy to give in. Consider, for example,
when
Tennessee Valley Authority was buying up land to build lakes in the
area for
generating hydro-electric power. Because
much of the land had been a legacy, passed down from generation to
generation,
people were reluctant to let it go, even to sell it for the ‘purpose of
progress’ as the promoters proclaimed.
When the government prevailed, and the land had to be sold, the
people
would comply, but dissatisfaction often remained, and some of the most
adamant
against selling their land refused for years to “hook up” to the
electrical
lines that came into their communities.
In summarizing how Appalachian people relate to others, Mr.
Jones
states: “We may not always like or
approve of other people, but we normally accept them as persons and
treat them
with respect” (p. 82).
[Ethelene Dyer
Jones is a retired educator,
freelance writer, poet, and historian. She may be reached at
e-mail edj0513@windstream.net;
phone 478-453-8751; or mail 1708 Cedarwood Road, Milledgeville, GA
31061-2411.]
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